Coming Out Tips: Checklist

Things to Consider, What to Say, When to Do It

Tips for Coming Out

  1. Be patient with yourself. It’s not necessary to tell everyone at once. Take your time. It’s natural to enjoy and explore your sexual feelings whatever your sexuality.
  2. Don’t push yourself or your boundaries.
  3. Don’t envision the worse case scenario.
  4. Start small. It can be easier to start by telling friends than by telling family. Find allies in your family. If you think a brother or sister or cousin will be easier to tell, start there.
  5. Find the support you deserve—whether it be a friend or family member—build a network can support your archetype.
  6. Be positive. When you come out to someone, you set the tone.
  7. Be prepared for different types of reactions.
  8. Be patient with others. Some people take longer to digest the information than others.

Remember: it’s okay to change your mind! And it’s okay to change your mind about who you want to share this personal part of your life with. It’s always your choice.

9. Make sure you consider the overall tolerance level of your individual communities. For example, how would you perceive an individual you’ve known for a long-time to understand your sexuality.

10. Consider which method you’re most comfortable with. You may prefer to come out over face-to-face with your peers, or over the internet, as this process is not “one-size-fits-all”.

11. Set firm boundaries.

12. You’ve got this far—laugh through the awkwardness.

13. Find ways to escape.

14. Start with self care.

15. Don’t come up if it isn’t safe.

16. Chant your new direction by saying nice things to yourself like “I love you and talk to you about what you love about yourself”.

17. Be honest and sincere. 

2 thoughts on “Coming Out Tips: Checklist”

  1. Hi! I am Martina and I was about to come out to my homophobic mum as lesbian and I was scared. This helped 🙂 Thanks

  2. Hi, Im retired, so old, and brought up when not being straight just wasnt allowed, dangerous, misfit, Im am also from a Catholic background. I was a TomBoy, to the despair of my Mother. I’ve never changed, my boyishness obvious, laughed at as wanting to copy my brothers, being a phase and only allowed at play time, denied my identity I was told behave and grow up as a girl to a woman. I married a man who adored me, we had 2 fantastic kids. Decades and much confussion and mental health therapy later here I am…..
    ……… I’m non binary. There I’ve come out to all of you on here. My name is Jude…..and Im a pensioner.

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