Aaron | 19 | Glasgow, Scotland | Hospitality Student
"I feel like my life has just begun but it should have begun the day I was born." I’m not really sure what age I was when I knew I didn’t 'like' girls, but I know for sure it was well before I was 10 years old. I have not long been out - it was around the middle of November last year when my journey started. I have had girlfriends but it did feel right. As the years went on I was becoame more mature, realising I had no feelings for girls and when I saw fit lads on TV I said to myself, “Wow, he is gorgeous.” This wasn't something a straight guy would come out with!
I was terrified to come out - there wasn't one week that went by when I didn’t go to bed crying and thinking about my sexuality. Back then I was wished I was straight. I even considered suicide. How things have changed - now I am proud to say that I am into men, that I'm gay. My first gay experience was with a man on holiday when me and my friend went to Greece. I was telling myself that my friend didn’t know I was gay but it was so obvious that they knew. I got with the guy and I was so scared to meet him the next day with my friend because what I didn't want him to speak about what happened the night before. When I came back from holiday my friend told me she knew I was gay and that’s when I realised I needed to tell people instead of living a lie. |
“I always knew I was different at high school and college. I was always in a group with the girls, never the boys”
A few months ago I was watching the television show This Morning and they were talking about coming out stories. I was so emotional watching them but it gave me that confidence boost to tell people. I’m glad there are gay role models out there and I've taken good advice from some of them. I was living a lie for years and it was my time. I was setting out certain dates (like a singer going on tour) to come out to my friends and family, but I was still terrified.
I went to visit my big sister one week and was so determined to come out to her because we have a really close bond but I still could not come clean. One night my life changed. We had just been to a party and I slipped some words out that - “I have got something to tell you.” I was so emotional and couldn’t get the words to come out. My sister said, “I know what you are going to tell me, you are gay. Well it is nothing to be ashamed of.” I was so confused but she explained that everyone knew and were just waiting for me to come out. It was a big weight off my shoulders as I felt like I was carrying the whole world.
Of course, I wasn't completely there yet, there was still my mum, dad and all my friends to tell. My dad took it better than my mum initially but now, everyone knows and is happy with it. I've been told, “being gay is nothing to be ashamed of", " you are still human", " the first gay bar you go to - I want to join you”.
Coming out is different today to how it used to be. However, there are still people bullying other people because they are gay but I reckon they are just jealous and one day karma will come back to slap them!
I used to speak to gay men before I came out but I was that terrified I'd be found out so I put their names in my phone book as women’s names. When I was in the closet it was getting too hot in there, I’m glad I’m out and now life is a breeze. I am a gay man and I could happily say it 10,000 times.
Follow Aaron on Twitter - @azzaT_
I went to visit my big sister one week and was so determined to come out to her because we have a really close bond but I still could not come clean. One night my life changed. We had just been to a party and I slipped some words out that - “I have got something to tell you.” I was so emotional and couldn’t get the words to come out. My sister said, “I know what you are going to tell me, you are gay. Well it is nothing to be ashamed of.” I was so confused but she explained that everyone knew and were just waiting for me to come out. It was a big weight off my shoulders as I felt like I was carrying the whole world.
Of course, I wasn't completely there yet, there was still my mum, dad and all my friends to tell. My dad took it better than my mum initially but now, everyone knows and is happy with it. I've been told, “being gay is nothing to be ashamed of", " you are still human", " the first gay bar you go to - I want to join you”.
Coming out is different today to how it used to be. However, there are still people bullying other people because they are gay but I reckon they are just jealous and one day karma will come back to slap them!
I used to speak to gay men before I came out but I was that terrified I'd be found out so I put their names in my phone book as women’s names. When I was in the closet it was getting too hot in there, I’m glad I’m out and now life is a breeze. I am a gay man and I could happily say it 10,000 times.
Follow Aaron on Twitter - @azzaT_
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