Evie / 28 / Uttoxeter, Staffordshire / Support Worker
I had known of my sexuality for a long time before I came out to anyone and I wasn’t confused about why I liked girls instead of boys. I was relieved because I thought I wasn’t normal for not finding anyone attractive (not that that is not normal, I know that now). I was 13 or 14 when I had my first crush and discovered my love for boobies. I didn’t come out to anyone until I was 20. I was pretty certain that my parents, friends and family wouldn’t have an issue with my sexuality because it didn’t change who I was because it’s who I always was!
But there was still that fear lurking deep inside of me, the 'what ifs' surfacing each time I opened my mouth to tell anybody, making it immediately snap back shut again. Although it shouldn’t be, it’s a very difficult thing to say for the first time - “I’m gay”. This is why my coming out was very much alcohol -fuelled. It wasn't that I was finally brave enough or that I just couldn't keep it inside anymore - honestly, I was just drunk.
Although a vodka inspired confession was not how I wanted to reveal my true self to my family (and I wouldn't suggest that anyone chose this option!) I don’t regret it for a second, because once I had announced my lesbianism, in what I must admit was in a rather crude manner, I felt so unbelievably relieved.
"A huge weight had been lifted and I could breathe a million times easier."
I don’t remember the exact date, I just know it wasn’t far off my 21st birthday. I was enjoying some drinks with my mom and a very good friend of ours and it was a typical night drinks at home followed by a trip to the local for a few then onto more drinks at home when the pub closed. It was on the way home from the pub that I came out. I don’t recall the conversation verbatim but it went something like this. My mom and her friend were talking about boys, specifically their 'parts'! Remember, much alcohol was consumed! I seem to recall they were going on for quite some time and I wasn’t part of the conversation until my opinion was called upon, at which time I rather eloquently announced my position on the subject of whether I liked them! I can't go into detail, but after a huge silence (well, it seemed like a huge silence) my mom asked if I was being serious. My friends said that they thought I was.
To this day I’ve never seen three people sober up so fast. When we got home my mom hugged me and went to bed, my friend poured us both another drink then we sat down and he just listened to me. He was there for me because I was still worried what that people would think I had changed and I can never thank him enough for what he did for me that night.
"The next morning not only gifted me with a mega hangover but also the very vivid memory of finally coming out."
Needless to say I was I bag of nerves until I was on the way to the shops with my mom. She said that she didn't know why she was so shocked because she knew I watched Ellen The L word a lot! Mom told a lot of other family members at my request, and I came out to my dad a great number of times. Although the relief at being out was immense I still hadn’t come out to anyone whilst not intoxicated, which changed when I went for a walk to the shop with my baby brother. I just told him. At first he thought I was lying and joking around but by the time we were walking home we realised we have quite similar taste in women.
Me and my super-supportive sister
I’m feel lucky to have such an understanding group of people in my life. No one changed how they treated me and no one looked at me different. Any doubt I had was well and truly squashed when on my 21st birthday I was presented with a booby cake!
"Coming out didn't change who I am nor did it change how my family treated me. The only difference it made in my life is that it made me happier - happier because I no longer hide who I am."