Kyle | 26 | Leeds, England | Global Retail Projects
I am a 26 year old who has a big ambition in life to succeed in the music industry. I know this dream is shared by a lot of people but I am determined to make this happen! Nothing comes easily in life unless you are born lucky! Even though I am still trying to establish myself as a singer, I do feel that I have a fantastic job for someone of my age. I have worked for a global retail company for almost eight years. I never intended on it being a career, but now this is my Plan 'B' and what a great Plan 'B' it is! I have been in a managerial position for the last five years and in the last year I have been working in some amazing countries! I lived in Sweden for six months and now currently live in Spain. I don't think I would be the same person I am today if I had worked elsewhere as the company I work for has great ethics, which I share. I owe a lot to my job for allowing me to be myself, never having to put on a front and always being able to be open and honest about everything...good and bad! From a very young age I always had this feeling inside myself; a feeling that most people consider not normal. This feeling was the feeling of liking somebody of the same sex. This is not something that I feel anybody can ever change or influence no matter how much they might try. During my childhood I used to have a lot of friends and I guess I'm still that popular type of person today. I have a very mixed bunch of friends; to me friends are not somebody who have to look perfect or dress in fancy clothes - true friends are people who are just themselves, put on no fronts, and feel 'free' around you. I have a good split of 50/50 male/female friends which I like and they are from quite diverse backgrounds and ethnicities. When I was in school some people used to call me a 'puff' and whilst growing up a lot of people used to question whether I was gay or not. This made me try to fight the truth and try to be a different person. |
When I look back I don't regret anything but I do feel angry towards the people who tried to make me feel this way and for the negativity that they showed to me. At the end of the day, no human being is better than another or deserves to ruin someone else’s life.
I have been in relationships with females and I do not regret this at all. The years I spent in those relationships were not unhappy, far from it in fact, but when I looked at myself in the mirror and considered that I could potentially be ruining not only my life and future happiness, but others as well, it made me realise that things had to change. I had one long term relationship with a girl and we even bought a house together. I don’t regret this experience, we still keep in contact now and she fully supports me! I see this as confirmation that there are caring, understanding and good people in the world! When it came to the first time I told my family about me being gay I can honestly say it was not accepted with open arms and I suppose this did hurt me at the time. However, you have to remember that some people need time to adjust to a new situation. I wrote a letter to my mum explaining that I was still the person she gave birth to and in time everything went back to normal. |
I can honestly say that even though I do not speak to my family too much about relationships etc, they still love me for the person I am today. This gives me the feeling that all families can get through this. I have one member of my family who refuses to speak to me to this day, but I can honestly say that I do not see this as my problem. I am not the person who has the issue. If the only reason somebody speaks to you is because you are who they expect you to be and the minute the 'mould' changes they do not want to know you, then in my opinion those people are not worthy of being part of your life.
Each and every friend has accepted me and has had absolutely no problem what-so-ever since I have told them. This makes me extremely happy and confirms to me that they are true friends. In fact, some have become even closer since I Came Out to them.
Each and every friend has accepted me and has had absolutely no problem what-so-ever since I have told them. This makes me extremely happy and confirms to me that they are true friends. In fact, some have become even closer since I Came Out to them.
"I guess it's like you trust them with a part of your life
and that can be a very friendship affirming thing!"
Whether you are big, slim, tall, short or simply don't fit the stereotypical mould of being considered 'good looking', who actually cares about this? Live your own life for who YOU are and not who THEY want you to be! This is a very important lesson I have learned. I hope that by writing this I can help others realise that they have the bravery inside to challenge society which will hopefully allow them to be the person they were born to be. The more of us live our lives like this, the more difference we can make to the world that we live in.
The word 'gay' can still have such a negative stigma attached to it still and this needs to change...soon. People should embrace this change and accept each and every individual they come across in life for who they actually are! I can honestly say that I have not changed one little bit from when I was not out to now and this is something that means I can hold my head up high and say 'I am still me'. By being yourself all the time you gain the respect of the people around you; no fronts, no fakeness, just pure 100% you! Surely that is the best thing you can give to the people around you and also to yourself. I do believe that you cannot control or choose your sexuality and it is inevitable that if you try to hide the real you and live a lie, one day the truth will come out in a way that you don’t choose. |
It saddens me to see articles in the media where people have ended their lives due to the fears and frustrations of not being able to be who they really are. Anybody who bullies another and makes them feel like they do not belong on this planet needs to take a serious look at themselves and see the impact on the families, friends and loved ones of each and every individual who feels that the end is the only option to stop the pain they feel. If an individual cannot see the way out then they need people around them who love them to show them their support. We can all be those supportive people.
Thank you for reading and I hope this helps anybody struggling through any difficulties they are facing. Never give up hope...stay true to yourself...and don't let others change or shape you into somebody you are not! If my story helps just one person then I truly consider it justified! The hour I spent writing this is nothing in comparison and it is my way of thanking the people around me for letting me be myself and living a happy life!
Thank you for reading and I hope this helps anybody struggling through any difficulties they are facing. Never give up hope...stay true to yourself...and don't let others change or shape you into somebody you are not! If my story helps just one person then I truly consider it justified! The hour I spent writing this is nothing in comparison and it is my way of thanking the people around me for letting me be myself and living a happy life!
Live your dream :-)
Follow Kyle on Twitter - @kylemarcmusic
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