Billy | 19 | Canterbury, England | Aspiring Model and Actor
When I was a young boy I was very camp! I was always spending time with my mum. My mum and dad got a divorce when I was about four or five years old. I left with my mum and my brother stayed with my dad. I have always been extremely close to my mum and we did absolutely everything together. As well as enjoying my mum’s company, I always loved being around women as I get on great with them. My mum and I rarely heard from my dad or my brother and so for the most part of my life, my mum has done everything for me and helped me to become the confident person I am today. As the years went by my behaviour at got really bad and I was referred to a specialist team to determine if I had a disability or mental health issue. At 10 I was diagnosed with ADHD which is a behaviour disorder. I was given tablets but they did not really work and my schooling saw no real improvement.
Moving on to when I was 12, I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (learning difficulties) which meant that things had to be explained a lot clearer for me to understand them. I remember once someone said, "I'm gonna flip off the handle!" and I just sat there really confused thinking, "How do you flip off the handle?”
When I turned 15 things we're still the same, but my schooling got better and I started meeting more guys. I remember thinking, ‘Oooh, he’s quite fit’. Every night I went home I remember thinking that I liked men and that I wasn’t attracted to women. I started to think that I might be gay.
Although I had thoughts that I may be gay, I still didn't feel sure about my sexuality until I had my first gay sexual experience when I was 16. It wasn't as special as I had hoped but I loved every moment of it! On June 13th 2010, when I was 17, I phoned my mum to tell her that I was gay. The night before I had slept with my best 'girl' mate on holiday in Benidorm. It was best I was out of the country when this happened as things could have easily turned sour!
My coming out went down with everyone far too easy and I thought, "Something’s got to go wrong". My mum told my dad and he cried and said he was fine. However, whenever I went down to see him he would insult me by calling me names which was uncalled for. After this, things started going downhill with my dad and when I was 18 he told me he didn't want anything more to do with me. He claims it wasn't because I was gay but I couldn't think of any other reason.
So months passed by and my Dad texted me out of the blue. I was really chuffed and things seemed to get back on track. However, I now have nothing to do with my dad anymore as the contact from him stopped again. I honestly feel that it’s better to be this way. My friends and my mum have supported me all the way and I don't need a dad. I’ve got my mum and she's my inspiration! I'm now 19 and an aspiring actor, presenter and model and things are now looking up. Things don't always go to plan but my future is looking bright! Remember that we are all individuals!